Have you been asked to spend supervised time with your children by the other parent or by the Court?
Supervised time with children is common when there have been allegations made against a parent that they pose a risk to the children.
Despite this, it is understandable that parents who have been asked to spend supervised time to feel:
- Unjustified when the supervised parent deny that they pose a risk to the children
- Angered at being treated as guilty before the allegations of risk to the children posed by the other parent are tried before a Judge under the rules of evidence
- Ignored by the Court when both parents have made allegations but only one parent is asked to spend supervised time with the children
However the Court's paramount consideration is for the safety of the children and supervised time with the children is a way to address the risks of safety raised by a parent.
Here are some tips on spending supervised time with your children:
You and the other parent should be clear on the agreed date, time and location for the supervised contact to occur. This communication can be facilitated by the supervise contact centre co-ordinator or directly with the appointed supervisor.
If you are planning to spend supervised time outdoors, make sure you and the other parent have an agreed wet weather back up venue for supervised time.
Consider and make provisions for the immediate needs for your children including food, drink, diapers and sleep (if required, depending on the age of your children). For example, bring a healthy snack or meal and have bottled water with you. If your children are still in diapers, anticipate that you may need to do a diaper change during supervised time.
Depending on the ages of your children and their interest, plan an appropriate activity to engage with your children. For example, if the children enjoy sports and you have planned to meet at a park, then bring a ball or other sporting equipment. Take the opportunity to enjoy bonding and building a relationship with your children even if it is with a supervisor. It is hoped that your children will look forward to spending time with you, and engaging in an enjoyable activity with the children will assist in achieving this goal.
Wear appropriate attire depending on the planned activity. For instance, if you are spending supervised time at a local park, wear clothes where you can run around and play with your children.
It is important to be punctual. If you are late, call the supervisor and advise them urgently of your estimate time of arrival. You should be aware that your consistent late arrival will be noted in the supervisor's notes which is read by the Judge. It is not usual that the supervisor will allocate you make up time if you are late to the supervised time.
Do not discuss anything about the parenting dispute or speak in a disparaging manner about the other parent to the children. Be conscious of your body language and mannerisms which can send an indirect message to the children.
Be positive and polite when the children share information with you about their lives with the other parent.
It is understandable that children may test your rules and boundaries during this time and it can be awkward to discipline your children when there is a supervisor watching your every move. However part of being a good parent is to discipline appropriately and not allow children to behave badly. You are expected to intervene if the children are misbehaving, especially if their behaviour poses a risk to their safety.
Bear in mind that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, supervised time does not go on forever. It is important that after a reasonable period or after every supervised session, that the supervisor's notes are made available to your lawyers, the Independent Children's Lawyer or to the Court. If there are issues of concern raised in the supervisor's notes, be proactive in resolving the issues.
If supervised sessions are progressing well and there have been no incidents, then it may be appropriate to seek an end to supervised time and transition to non-supervised time with the children after a reasonable period of time has passed. This can be done through a formal offer for an interim change in the parenting arrangement or filing parenting consent orders, a proposal for the parties to attend mediation and/or filing an interim application if the parties cannot reach an agreement.
You should seek legal advice from a lawyer about your own situation and when it becomes appropriate to commence and remove supervised time with the children.
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*** Disclaimer:
Information on this website or post does not constitute legal advice and that electronic dialogue with readers does not constitute any form of client engagement unless specifically agreed. The information is provided on a general basis only. We strongly recommend that you seek your own independent advice from a lawyer about your situation.
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